Not A Normal Day
by morningstar115
Summary: As much as Merlin wishes otherwise, it's not a normal day in Camelot...Written for a prompt from equine 14. Warnings: Crack-ish, somewhat OOC, and...weird. But funny.


Not A Normal Day

* * *

 **Hello!**

 **So I was looking through my files and I found a prompt from equine 14 that I've had for a while and I decided to give it a shot.**

 **Warnings: Weirdness and possible OOC-ness abound.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

* * *

 **Prompt: Elyan dies, Leon tries, Lancelot spies, Gwaine flies, Percival cries, Arthur shies and Merlin vies.**

* * *

It was not a typical day in Camelot.

No, seriously…it really wasn't.

Merlin was an expert on Camelot, being its chief protector (well, the _real_ protector, anyway), and this was most definitely _not_ a typical day.

The non-typical-ness started early that morning when one of other servants told him that Sir Elyan was completely, utterly dead.

Of course Merlin was in shock; he'd spoken to Elyan just the night before and the man had just suddenly died? He must have misheard (the other servant had shouted across the front hall, as a matter of fact). But then…what else could he have said?

And why had he seemed so amused by it? It wasn't funny!

Now Merlin was annoyed…and sorrowful. Interesting combo, actually.

He ran up to the council chambers, where Arthur was already holding court. In other words, he was standing by a table covered in papers, talking about extremely boring things to bored-looking council members.

"Arthur! Elyan's completely, utterly dead!" Merlin skidded to a halt, noting the confused looks he was getting from…well, everyone.

"Um, Merlin?" He looked from the flabbergasted king and queen over to the right of the room, where Elyan himself stood with raised eyebrows. "I'm right here."

"Then why did your servant say you were completely, utterly dead?"

"What?"

Insert long pause.

Arthur started laughing, his chuckles sounding vaguely like a donkey's bray. "Merlin, of all the ridiculous things…"

Elyan's expression suddenly cleared. "Oh, I know what happened! Merlin, he must have been telling you about how I was complaining this morning…about maggoty bread."

Merlin excused himself hastily, his face almost as red as his scarf.

On the way to the stables to muck out the horses, he saw Leon following a very beautiful lady and her maid across the courtyard, trying desperately (and failing) to get her attention. Merlin shook his head, amused, but then had to pirouette suddenly to avoid crashing into Lancelot, who had risen suddenly from behind a random cart. "Merlin." the dark-haired knight stage-whispered.

Without thinking, Merlin responded in a similar tone, "Lancelot. What are you doing?"

"Spying on Leon."

Merlin thought about that for a minute. It just didn't seem…right. Then he realized: Lancelot was not the spying type _at all_. Gwaine, yes…maybe even Elyan. But Lancelot? "Why?"

"I have a bet with Percival. I said that Leon couldn't possibly win the favor of Lady Ellen, but he disagreed. So I'm watching to see the outcome."

Merlin considered this. "Are you drunk?"

Lancelot frowned. "Maybe. I did have breakfast with Gwaine."

"Okay." The secret warlock turned towards the stables once more.

He was halfway through mucking out the horses when Gwaine sauntered in. "Merlin!" he bellowed so loud that the nearest horse spooked and kicked the knight in the chest.

It was a very big horse.

Later Merlin learned that Gwaine hadn't stopped his impromptu flight until he reached the Lower Town, taking out several guards and random visiting farmers on the way. Finally he crashed into the outer wall. Whereupon the knight got up, shook himself off, and went to the tavern. No one saw him outside of it for a while.

While picking up some supplies for Gaius at the market that afternoon, Merlin came across Percival hiding in a corner. Upon investigating closer, Merlin found that the hulking knight was _crying_.

"Hello, Merlin." the big man sniffled.

"Hi, Percival…Uh, are you okay?"

"Huh? I'm fine. It's just…" Percival lowered his voice. "See those women over there? The farmers' wives? They're selling onions today."

"Um…So?"

"I'm allergic. And they're very big onions."

"O…kay."

Merlin was present during a particularly dull and therefore tense council meeting that afternoon, during which the queen hit the king with scroll. Poor Arthur; the action seemed so unlike his sweet, darling Guinevere that despite the fact she forgave him for whatever it was he'd done immediately, every time she so much as gestured towards him for the rest of the evening, he shied away.

Normally, Merlin would've appreciated Arthur's uncustomary meekness. But today…it was just too much.

So as much as Merlin vied internally to convince himself that all was well, he couldn't deny that today was just not a normal day.

* * *

 **So, I know I haven't been very active when it comes to Merlin fanfiction these days...I know I'm neglecting The Battles We Cannot Evade, but I got sidetracked into a different fandom (equine 14, you definitely know what I'm talking about.) But I'll be watching some _Merlin_ with my friend this weekend, so who knows, maybe I'll get back into it soon...**

 **Reviews are always appreciated.**

 **Have a great day/night!**


End file.
